Te pienso

Pienso mucho en ti.

Te pienso de día. Te pienso de noche.

Te pienso como primera cosa cuando me despierto. Te pienso como última cosa cuando me acuesto.

Imagino si sonríes cuando duermes y seguro, por eso, duermo sonriendo.

Te pienso en mis comidas, imagino compartirlas contigo.

Te pienso al caminar, mis manos no dejan de notar tu ausencia.

Te pienso al bailar. Te dedico cada movimiento.

Te pienso al reir, porque se que reirías conmigo.

Te pienso sin razón alguna, y sin darme cuenta que te pienso… Pero mi sonrisa me descubre y me recuerda que te pienso.

Te pienso cuando estudio tu idioma. Me daría vergüenza si me escucharas practicar solo, pero imagino conversaciones contigo.

Te pienso al cepillarme los dientes. Es imposible no recordar tu sonido chiqui chiqui chiqui.

Y si hablamos de sonidos, te pienso cuando mi respiración se agita, y mi corazón se acelera, porque es lo que me pasa cuando tu me hablas de cerca.

Porque tus sonidos son divinos. Porque mirarte es deleitarme. Porque conocerte es maravillarme y amarte es mi destino. Soy feliz con mi camino y no dejo de pensarte.


Elle

Elle n’était pas née, je la rêvais.

Elle n’est rien de ce que je cherchais, mais en elle j’ai tout trouvé.

Quand elle sourit tout l’endroit s’illumine.

Quand tu la regardes, elle sourit, et vous savez immédiatement que vous êtes perdu.

Elle a la plus grande passion et son énergie te peut hérisser la peau.

Elle danse et tu soupires, tu souhaites danser avec elle, flotter sur la piste avec elle, à proximité.

C’est impossible de savoir combien de temps a passé quand elle t’embrasse. Elle règne dans le temps, et tu temps s’arrête dans ses bras.

Dans cinq minutes elle peut changer votre vie. Pour toujours! Et vous ne voudrez plus jamais revenir à votre vie antérieure.

Elle est la paix.

Elle est une tempête.

Elle est un ouragan imparable.

Elle est un paysage incroyable.

Elle n’est pas facile de découvrir, mais un trésor jamais l’est.

Si elle te fait confiance, tout son monde est à vous.

Si vous n’êtes pas honnête avec elle, vous serez laissé sans monde.

Elle est humaine.

Elle a un cœur qui bat fort et qui aspire énormément à tout découvrir.

Elle a un corps de rêve, et elle veut rêvasser avec lui.

Elle est la vie et nourrit la tienne.

Elle a un nom de couleur et donne de la couleur a mes jours.

Elle me rend plus heureux.

Il n’y a personne comme elle.


I’m broken

Always been.

Looking as far back as my memory can take me, there are lots of blue moments that marked my young self early years.

The situation didn’t improve much as I grew up. Tons of crappy teenager moments. Isolation, solitude, rejection, mockery, physical beating… I got them all, repeatedly.

I always kept it shut. Sealed them inside and used them to fuel myself towards the impossible. It turns out that, when you have this much fire inside, the impossible is not that impossible after all.

Just at the moment I believed I left it all behind, a new, unknown, hard to trace, threat was taking grip of my peace of mind. My heart and mind was further broken into tiny pieces. Probably some of them were lost. My confidence was taken away from me, obliterated by the constant criticism from the one I blindly trusted myself to. The closest person to me.

The beauty of this story is that I had every reason to be an outcast. Every reason to let the fire devour me and give in to its seductive power of rage and anger. Every reason to pay them back with the same quarter. Yet I didn’t.

Up to this day, every hurtful experience has further shaped myself into this forgiving resilient passionate loving rightful strong happy individual you can talk to everyday to get a fresh smile from and a curious point of view.

I think that what I’m trying to say, here, is that we all have a choice. It’s never about our circumstances, and always about who we decide to be.

Who you want to be?

… Take your time!

Grow past your self… And be you!


Vivir

No se trata más de las cosas que tengas, que de las cosas que atesores.

Momentos, miradas, suspiros. Por efímeros que parezcan al momento que ansiamos revivirlos, son instantes eternos que quedaron grabados en nuestro ser. Un calor en el pecho, una cosquilla en los labios… Síntomas de que, así sea por una fracción de segundo, produjimos y recibimos al mismo tiempo un Big Bang de máxima felicidad!

Esos momentos en los que das el TODO. Todo lo que tienes, todo lo que eres, sin reservas, tu alma en terciopelo. Cuando tiemblas de emoción, y de miedo, y de alegría! Por el gusto de permitirte expresarte al máximo, sin censura, puro y brutal! Como tu mente, como tu cuerpo, como tu yo, como tuyo y como mío!

Caer a la cama, hundido en chispazos de plenitud. Y sonreír, en silencio, boyante, feliz, audaz. Con el saber del buen hacer. Con el sabor del buen querer. Con la alegría de no temer ser. Con la satisfacción de una lágrima, de felicidad, sentir caer.

Darlo todo sin esperar nada, y sonreír. Y aún si la vida decidiera que nada has de recibir, tener la acertada picardía para enseñarle a la vida como se debe vivir.


Shit, man!

I take a lot of shit. I always do. Most likely, I’ve also taken shit from you.

Don’t worry, it’s ok.

I know my ways are particular, and I’m true to the path I’ve chosen. I hate for the shit to spread and reach the little untainted places, hearts, left.

I’ve also been part of that shit. I’ve lied, hurt, and stained the very thing I live to protect.

I feel it’s like a way to redeem myself for the pain I’ve caused. Even though I know it won’t change a thing for those I mistreated. To prevent others fron hurting people the same way I did. To help others understand the kind of pain they’re being inflicted and help them cut the cycle.

I have to admit it’s a very difficult choice. The choice of not fighting back. The choice of actively identifying opportunities to make a difference on someone else’s life. It’s exhausting.

It’s infinitely rewarding too!

Most of the time I get to see those grateful eyes that tell me it’s worth it. Sometimes I get such a battery recharging hug, that puts me back together for another set of rounds. Other times I get radio silence and forever unread messages. Even then, I end up feeling it was for a greater good.

However, there’s a part of it I haven’t figured out… Will I ever fill up? What happens if I get to a point in which I feel that I can’t take it anymore?

I mean, I never ask for anything in return. Not for this, not for treating people well. Not for anything. But, hell, I wish for sometimes to be surprised! To receive those little sparks of the universe that makes you feel lucky and fortunate and cherish even more what you do, the joy of being alive! Those things create more room for taking more shit in, and continue my selfish crusade.

If I fill to capacity, will I explode or will I implode? Will it be a big bang, or a quiet swoosh? Will someone hold me or would I ought to rebuild myself from scratch?

Perhaps I really don’t want to know.

Hope we don’t ever figure out.

Have a great day!


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Back in the saddle

Is your environment, or is yourself who determine your lifestyle?

How much would your lifestyle change if you were placed halfway around the world and be told to be yourself?

These are the questions fiddling in my head in the past days.

I had forgotten how different I used to be. How much I love the things I used to do. How much I love me, when I’m being me.

It’s so easy to fall sleep in the train of routine and become an spectator of your own life.

I have to thank a remote city for waking me up from my comfort and reminding me what’s being alive! Having a heart that pumps salsa and lungs that breathe bachata is a gift I will not let die!

It’s good to be back!